Reflection on Retreat Weekend

Over the course of this past weekend, (June 1-3) I felt that I needed time away from Delaware and thought what better than to go on a retreat. Now coming into this retreat, I had no idea what to expect or have expectations, but to get away from my computer for awhile. (Note: I have been looking for full time employment since the beginning of May thus the computer reference) Well we got to Black Rock Retreat Center in Quarryville, PA early in the evening. The group decided to make it a free night and start the next day. The next morning I got up somewhat early and did some morning devotions. This is what I came up with after doing a little studying from a book our Sunday school teacher gave to us on the Promises of God. Bear with me because it might not make a whole lot of sense at first. I disected Bible verses which in turned became a prayer. Colossians 1:11 "that you may have great endurance and patience" vs 10 "please Him in every way" Ephesians 3:17 "rooted in love" James 1:4 "Perseverance must finish its work" vs 6 "When he asks, he must believe" 1 Corinthians 2:12 "that we may understand". Now by now you are probably wondering what does that all mean? As God was knocking at my door I started to pray about my job situation which sounded like "God, I pray that you may give me great endurance and patience as I go through this time of looking for a job.. May I do everything that is pleasing in your sight, established and rooted in your love for me, that I persevere through this time, and when I ask I will believe with all my heart and grow and understand what you have for me. From that I started to gain perspective of what I was really feeling inside frustrated beyond belief. Then I got a promise card that "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise as some understand slowness He is patient with you." 2 Peter 3:9 Now my perception is that things are going slow as I try to find my next place of employment, but God is actually working at a perfect pace. As I struggled and started getting frustrated, I started seeing things that weren't actually there. I even accused my best friend of something they didn't even do. I was mislead by the lies that the deceiver was telling me were true. I betrayed a trust that has held the test of time. If you are reading this friend of mine, I am completely sorry that I felt I could not come to you. I believed into the lies that werent' true at all. History has not repeated itself. God placed you in my life for a reason to show me that love, comfort, assurance, and faith does exist. I hope you will find in your heart to forgive me. I know that the Lord will never leave me or forsake me. For my God is an awesome God and He is bigger than any circumstance that I encounter.